Growing up, I always viewed 30 year olds as adults- people who have the whole lot figured out; from career, to relationships and just life in general. Now that I’ve hit the “grown-up” age, I’ve come to realise that having all the pieces of the puzzle in place at 30 is absolute hogwash. Sure some do, but if you don’t, guess what? It’s still okay.
I like to think of myself as a work in progress. I have a few things figured out, while other aspects of my life are a bit more riddled to say the least. My aim however is to continuously practice these 30 things.
There might be plenty of truth to the notion of ‘with age comes wisdom’. If this is so then with age comes the quality of having experience, knowledge and good judgement; the quality of being wise. I certainly tick a few of these boxes but I’m also okay with accepting the fact that I don’t tick others. Every day is a learning process and I’m so determined and open to learning and figuring everything out. For now, take a look at the 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years.
- Don’t go looking for love – I learned this very recently. After coming out of a 5 year relationship and finding out that my ex had moved on, I literally felt left behind and had the urge to rush into something. DON’T DO IT! Rushing results in meeting the wrong person, which ultimately takes up more of your precious time. Wait for it, be patient. What’s meant for you is out there. Apparently good things come to those who wait.
- Say I love you as often as you can – Not just to your boyfriend or partner. But to everyone around you who truly means something to you.
- Don’t dwell on the past – The past is what molded you into the person you are today. If it wasn’t for those really bad break-ups, fights in school and daily chores, you probably wouldn’t be who you are today.
- Feel what you need to feel and then let it go – Life is too damn short to hold a grudge. Plus, it’s not going to add to your happiness if you do. Let it go!
- Don’t judge – People who judge, don’t matter. People who matter don’t judge. Read that again.
- Just be a fucking nice person- everyone is going through a struggle you know nothing about –I could never understand, and still don’t understand why people are so mean. Last time I checked it didn’t hurt anybody to be a goddam nice person.
- Blame it on the boogie – Dancing and singing has a way of lifting the mood. Life is about being happy. Why not enhance your happy with a little boogie every now and again?
- Cry if you feel sad –I don’t know about you, but a good cry every now and again really has a way of making me feel better. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s also okay to cry. Just make sure you have Kleenex nearby.
- Don’t sit in your sorrow – I stole this line from a Keeping up with the Kardashians episode and it just resonates so well with me. Life can be challenging but there is no fun in having a pity party for one. Life will always give you lemons at some point. Try not to let it get you down for too long.
- Invest in experiences, not things –I wasn’t much of a giver or a sharer until my brother passed away 7 years ago. This opened my eyes to the reality that nobody leaves this earth with everything that they’ve accumulated over the years. I’ve now adopted a “take it” kind of attitude. Material things mean nothing to me. People and experiences do.
- Go after what you want without worrying about being judged –The only person stopping you from reaching your dreams is you! So what if everyone stops and stares? If it makes you happy, that’s all that should matter. I went after what I wanted and failed miserably (Shameless) Check it out: http://thirty-something.co.za/2019/06/03/my-experience-on-the-bachelor-south-africa-part-2/
- Worry about self-validation- not validation from others –I can’t emphasise this point enough. Stop caring about what other people think. You will be a much happier person.
- Do what makes you happy –Doing what makes you happy is more than just about one thing in life. It’s a continuous task. Wake up, have your morning coffee or run, then do something that makes you jolly EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
- Don’t expect anyone else to support you – Maybe you have a wealthy spouse, maybe you have a trust fund, but you never know when either one might run out.
- It’s okay to be selfish –“Don’t be selfish” has been drilled into us since we were first introduced to our first ever sibling or new friends in crèche. We’re adults now. To hell with this notion! It’s okay to be selfish if it’s not going to hurt anyone and will benefit you somehow. Just don’t overdo it.
- Apologise when you’re wrong –Swallow your pride and take ownership of your wrong doings. I won’t lie, I’m still trying to master this one.
- Be kind – Even if people don’t deserve your kindness, be kind to them anyway. Sprinkle that shit everywhere!
- People change- accept them when they do –We’re all evolving in life. People change. It’s inevitable.
- It’s okay to break free from friends who bring you down or add negativity to your life –As I matured I’ve become more aware of energies and vibes. I can literally sense negative energy when I walk into a room, which can really weigh me down. Protect your energy. If you feel that certain friends or family members contribute negatively to your life, try to steer clear from them.
- Don’t only do good to those who do good for you – Do good to those who speak negatively about you, do good to those who hate you, do good to those who don’t know you. I’m a firm believer in Karma and have experienced its wrath many times. Doing good no matter the situation is only going to get you further in life and make this world a better place (insert Michael Jackson song here).
- Don’t be reckless with other peoples hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours
- Not everyone is going to love you, and that’s perfectly fine – Love yourself enough to realise that what other people think and say about you means absolutely nothing. Be so confident in knowing yourself that nobody else’s opinion matters.
- Always wear sunscreen – Aging is a real thing and I have yet to meet a female who enjoys it. Protect your skin. Wear sunblock- come rain or shine. You will thank me later.
- Life isn’t a race – Be happy with your current situation. Social media can really be a downer when you see Becky from high school getting married, or Susan from University becoming a Candidate Attorney. Becky and Susan however don’t ever post their struggles. Not everyone is how they ‘post’ to be. Your life may actually be 100 times better than theirs. Be grateful for your current blessings while you continuously work towards your goals.
- Be YOU – My mom always says, “If everyone was the same, the world be so boring”, and she’s so right! The world needs variety. Be yourself no matter what.
- Rejection is not nice- but I promise it will make you stronger – Lawd, have I been rejected so many times! At job interviews, by men, by supposed friends. The list goes on… but you know what? You can allow rejection to defeat you, or you can allow it to build you! Why not take it with a pinch of salt and become indestructible?
- Speak your mind. I mean it – A lot of people get caught up in situations where they feel they can’t speak their minds because they’re afraid of being judged or become worried about what the next person may think. How is this living? If something bothers you, say it. Be firm and honest in all situations. Never hold back because of others. Be mindful at all times, but always speak your mind.
- Family comes first no matter what – My family have always been my biggest fans and ultimate support system. I wake up with a grateful heart every single morning because of them. Cherish these unicorns while they’re still around.
- Don’t be afraid to try new things- Getting out of your comfort zone can be very frightening. Once you master the art of trying out new things, you eventually become so comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Ask that question, bungee jump off of that bridge, start a random conversation with a stranger, post that sexy picture. Comfort zones lead to stagnation. Grow a little 🙂
- Your mom is your best friend – I can’t stress this enough and I refuse to elaborate any further. I Love you mom!
What lessons have you learned from life? I’d love to know 🙂 Drop a comment below!